Feast
Dir. John Gulager (2005)
Feast is one of those movies that has a lot of expectations put on it and doesn't really pay off in the end, now that's not to say that its a piece of shit like most... it's just that expectations were to high for this one. After all the trouble getting it through Project Greenlight 3 everyone thought that this would turn into the next big thing in horror, it wasn't... but it was still a pretty cool movie. 'Feast' has the classic survivors in a isolated location feel to it, like Night of the living dead only with super fast highly lethal killer rubber suit monsters and in a bar. The movie starts of introducing us to everyone giving us a almost video game bio of everyone and letting us know what there "strengths" are and what their odds of surviving are. also this movie has a true no one is safe feel (The first hero dies and a child dies in this one... but wait for part 2) that fallows through the rest of the films. What else can i say about 'Feast' other then it has the feel of a old drive-in movie that's just to fun and gory to forget.
3.5/ 5
Feast 2: Sloppy Seconds
Dir. John Gulager (2008)
What John Gulager did to make 'Feast 1' fast and fun can start to be seen missing in 'Feast 2: Sloppy Seconds'. Yep Sloppy Seconds, that's what they called it. . . Anyways lets see After our few survivors escape the bar and make their way to the closest town, that just so happens to be over run with... you guessed it the same monsters. Shit. alright so more crazy deaths happen and some boobs are shown, there's a longer then it has to be dissection of one of the monsters that just seems to be added for a very long fart joke. This movie falls for the tree of the first movie but not that far, it still good for a laugh and has some great gory gags in it... and a biker chick made tit-girl, and then there's the baby death. Now it hard to believe but they stepped up the no one is safe feel from the first movie by killing a baby (I wonder how Ben and Matt feel about putting the first movie through project greenlight now?) anyways this is the moment where the movie losses half its audience, and i'm talking so hardcore horror movie fan just say... " that's to much" now i'm not going to say weather it stepped over a line or not, but really sometimes we have to agree not every baby is going to live through a Apocalypse.
3/5.
Feast 3: The Happy Finish.
Dir. John Gulager (2009)
Really, you called your second movie sloppy seconds then when you have the chance to go for another "great" title like i don't know, The happy ending, you fuck it up and call your movie 'The Happy Finish' what the fuck... although it does help you to understand what the hell happened with this movie. Ok so say 'Feast' was made for horror fans then the 2nd would have been made for stoners... that would mean that the third was made for people with brain damage that causes them to forget whats going on every ten minutes. This movie is pretty bad considering they had such a strong start, but they just run through ideas like a... I don't know like what but lets just say to much is going on. They add new characters just to have someone to kill off and have some guy who turns out to be a Ninja... he dies. lots of things happen but none of it had to... thats all i have to say about that. OH yes... also more boobs.
2.5/5.
No comments:
Post a Comment