Inktober.

Here are some highlights from my inktober streak.

A Small Break.

I'll be taking a small break for October, no reviews, rants or revenge; but i well be posting new art... everyday. I've decided that this year i would draw one monster/horror movie related thing everyday of October, then a friend on Facebook told me about the Inktober Initiative, Which is right up my alley and already what i was planing on doing anyway. 

Check out Inktober on tumblr with #inktober.

Reviews: A Few Favorite Found Footage Films

Found footage has grown into one of the one of the most popular Sub-genre used by filmmakers of horror in the last ten years. While its beginnings can be traced back to the 1980's it really didn't get its footing till 1999's 'Blair Witch Project' took the world by storm with its clever marketing and campaign that made over half the people that went to see it think it was a real film. 

Personal i'm not really a fan of most found footage out there, but there are some clever movies that i like that have used the format in smart ways that make the movies enjoyable. here are a few of my favorite.

 Troll Hunter
Dir. Andre Ovredal

Troll Hunter is a fantastic watch because of its size and scope. Three university students fallow Hans, a man that hunts trolls for a secret government organization. First of, this does not feel like a found footage film, it feels like a movie. I know that sounds dumb, but if you got to see this film in theaters you would not feel like you just paid $15.00 to watch some jerk holding a camera as he films a love story while a giant monster destroys New York (i'll talk more about cloverfield when i talk about found footage films i hate). You would feel like you just watch a movie that someone put a lot of the heart and soul into.
Watching Hans get ready to do battle with some of the trolls is awesome, the homemade Armour looks great and his truck with all the lights really shows that they wonted to keep some of the beliefs surrounding trolls in the Netherlands a fact more then just superstition.
The special effects are nice, its low budget and that shows on some of the trolls which kind of removes the believably part of the film, but its fun and they still feel very large.

The Poughkeepsie Tapes
Dir. John Erick Dowdle

When people tell me they don't get frightened from horror movies anymore, i asked them if they've seen 'Poughkeepsie Tapes' which most haven't seeing how it has never really been officially released except for a short video on demand run. So then i tell them to watch it... and they never speak to me again.
The Poughkeepsie Tapes is almost to real. Done more like a A&E crime documentary, it fallows the investigators who found over 800 videos of the "Water Street Butcher" capturing, torturing, killing, and mutilating his victims. Not only does the movie focus on the crimes but the toll watching these movie took on the officers involved.
Like the 'Blair Witch Project' this movie seems to real for some people but not because of clever marketing. More it has to do with the fact that it never got any kind of release. now more of a movie you hear about then have to track down on the internet tell your friends about then they track it down and so on. This movie is shocking, brutal, and powerful like so few other movies. It leaves you depressed and angry and more then a little afraid.

[Rec]
Dir. Jaume Balaguero and Paco Plaza

Very few movies turn out this intense, Trapped in a apartment building with these fast, demon possessed, zombie like creatures, locked in with nowhere to run or hide. Crazy shit.
The movie revolves around a young television reported and her camera man, who are filming a late night show at the local fire station when they get to do a ride along to what sounds like a routine call. they get to a apartment building and go to check on a elderly lady the other tenants are worried about and get attacked, then shit goes to hell.
[Rec] may be my favorite found footage film ever. The camera work is solid, the possessed are awesome looking especially the creepy girl at the end. its fast passed and cramped which makes for some really frighting scenes, and the acting is good, although i have a hard time gauging actors that speck a different language then me, but i believe them to be frighten when they we supposed to be, and that's enough.

Tirades, Rants and Riots: Some New Art For Some Old Classics

This Halloween we'll be seeing some old classics get a face-lift.  Skuzzles - a Art print house set here in Canada  has struck a deal with Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer (MGM) Studios and 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment to release 13 horror movies with some awesome looking art work of the covers. Now while most of us horror fans may already own most (or All) of these movies some of the art work is just to great to skip at the price Skuzzles has list on there site, Blu-ray's for $7 - $9 and DVD's $5 - $7. Check them out here Skuzzles. 

Tirades, Rants and Riots: The Halloween Collection

On Sept 23, After years of waiting us horror fans will finally Be treated to a complete collection of the Halloween franchise including a Never before (officially) released Halloween: the Curse of Micheal Myers Producers Cut and both of Rob Zombies Films, plus Different cuts of part Halloween and Halloween part 2 as well as a incredible amount of extra's.

Anchor Bay and Scream Factory are known for some great release of classic (and not so classic) horror gems have now put together one hell of a package in this 15-disc bluray box-set, with stunning artwork on the box and a great looking 40 page booklet. This is a great looking set for any horror fan and a necessity for any Halloween Fan.

The only con I can see to shelling out the money for this set, (although there is a cheaper 10 disc box-set, but its not worth the money at all.) is that any Horror fan probably already owns a couple copies of Halloween, and maybe a couple of doubles of some of the other movies. Including some great Halloween 2 and 3 disc recently release by Scream Factory and a 35 Anniversary Edition of the original Halloween. So you may be asking yourself why? why should I buy another copy of movies I own already? And the reason is...
This is it. this is the set you should have had all along. Sell your other copies (unless you wont to keep them) and get this, this has everything you could wont in a Halloween set and more.

For more Details on the special features and a countdown until release day check out Halloween666

Remake Revenge: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Ever Wednesday I'll be switching between Reviews and Remake Revenge from now on. Next week i'll review three found footage films and the week after that i'll be Telling you what I think of the original and the remake of "The Hills Have Eyes".

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)
Dir. Tobe Hooper

Five friends visiting their grandfather's house in the country are hunted and terrorized by a chain-saw wielding killer and his family of grave-robbing cannibals.

First let me say something about my childhood. I have many memories of sneaking down our old creaky stairs to the living room late at night to watch horror movies on TV; having an old fashion satellite I had enough to choose from. It was on one of these nights I was first introduced to the monster known as Leatherface. From the moment he steps through the door and bashes Kirk over the head with the hammer and the slamming of the door afterwards, Leatherface was something to be afraid off.

As I got older I became more aware of Leatherface’s child like innocence. Sure he kills people but if that is what you grew up in and all you knew, would you consider it wrong to do so. There are times this Leatherface seams almost sympathetic and alone in his world, the time he is sitting in the “living room” comes to mind looking around the room after the kill, almost scared.


Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)
Dir. Marcus Nispel

After picking up a traumatized young hitchhiker, five friends find themselves stalked and hunted by a deformed chainsaw-wielding killer and his family of equally psychopathic killers.

The True monster of this film come as Sheriff Hoyt, a sadistic old bastard that gets so much pleasure out of the power he commands, even if it is just fake. The new Leatherface is more of a quiet stalker type killer, more in the line of Jason from Friday the 13th parts 6 through 8. More of a force of death then a monster, I think this is where the filmmakers really fail. To take such a large part of a character and turn him more into a mindless killing machine was just too much of a change for me to take.

So what do i think of the remake, well In the end I guess all I can say is that the remake off TCM has everything every other horror movie has. Its not a bad horror movie, it just has too much to live up to. The original was far too real and horrifying to ever be remade right. You can't remake something like Texas Chainsaw Massacre, its a animal, a force you just can't reproduce. Instead we get a watered down slasher flick that runs through the same cliches and makes some new ones. That being said, I love those cliches. They are the back bone of some of my favorite slasher, but not when their being used to muddy the water of a great film like Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

All you have to do to compare these movies is think about the ending. In the original Sally (Marilyn Burns) Crashes through a window escaping hell itself, then is chased on to the road having her back repetitively cut with a Straight razor by the sick Hitch-hiker until he gets run over, She then jumps in to the back of a passing truck. As she looks back you can see pain and loss in her face as she laughs and screams. She will never be the same, what she has experienced over the last 24 hour is something that will live with her. She didn't survive... Not really.

In the Remake Erin (Jessica Biel) Has gotten away from Leatherface and hidden in a old slaughterhouse, as leatherface is distracted, she chops of his hand with a meat clever and runs off. She gets pick up on the road by a man in a semi-truck, who then stops at a local dinner to get help to Erin's disapproval, while said trucker is busy with the murderous sheriff Hoyt and some other family member. Erin goes in to the dinner to save a baby we assumed was kidnapped earlier and hot wires the sheriff car. Then repetitively runs over Hoyt before driving off.

Now, off all the remakes I’ve seen over the past 15 or more years I don’t think any have ended so differently. The original has an ending that is what you wonted but still so bleak. The girl gets away but at what cost. “Who will survive and what well be left of them.” After seeing the end of this movie you know that Sally well never be the same girl she was before this. It leaves a definite impact. The remake goes the same old slasher film route girl survives and kills those who tormented her and leaves you feeling both fulfilled and empty at the same time. Sure your glad she got away and got revenge, but that doesn't necessarily make a good ending.

 A line from the intro dialogue to T.C.M. 2 sums up the original well I think.

“Sally said she had broken out of a window from hell”

Tirades, Rants and Riots: Horror Movie Soundtracks Re-released on Vinyl

Of all the growing trends in horror culture this one I find the easiest to fall in love with. A large amount of classic and not so classic soundtracks are getting re-released on Vinyl records, and not only that some come with great looking art on the record covers. If you love horror movies, music and art this is a great thing for you to look in to.

Mondo Tees, Know for their beautiful movie posters has put out some great looking (and i'm guessing good sounding) records including John Carpenter's Halloween, Here Comes the Devil, Manic (the Remake), and The Deadly Spawn (to name a few) all got great art work as well as some special attention to the record.

One Way Static Doesn't really have the art work that mondo does but they seem to be trying to put out some real great rare original soundtrack Like The Hills Have Eyes and Last House on the Left. They Also have Soundtracks for Surf Nazi Must Die and Wolfcop coming out soon, both of those look pretty sweet.

Death Waltz If you looking for strange or rare soundtracks Death Waltz may be what your looking for. They Release Halloween 2 With some great art work, they did Halloween 3 as well but the art work is lacking in comparison but still cool. They have also released a ton of old Italian Horror movie soundtracks from dario argento's inferno to Lucio Fulci's City of the Dead. Lot of good stuff.

WaxWorks  Seems to be a newer company jumping in but they've already release Re-animator, Rosemary's Baby, and Day of the Dead. All are great looking. They are also in the process of releasing a Vinyl copy of Friday the 13th which look quit nice.  

Reviews: Jack Ketchum's Evil Mind in Films.

I watched 'The Girl Next Door' (not staring Elisha Cuthbert) with some friends who told me after it was over that they would never watch that movie again, and that i had a sick taste in movies but... I really have to disagree with them. Now, understand that i do not enjoy anything that happened to that young girl in that movie, but i do view this movie is a great Horror film and a excellent example of how this genre can not only be horrifying at times but also make you feel something. Now that being said this movie makes you feel completely depressed and empty but its still a great movie. So after that i wanted more Jake Ketchum and i don't read much so anytime i could find one of his movies i watched it. so here's what i thought.

The Girl Next Door (2007)

Dir. Gregory Wilson

'the Girl Next Door' Is a fictional story written by Katchum based of the true crimes that befell on a young girl by her over baring Aunt. The film is as much about the torment and abuses that happened to the young girl is it is the loss of innocents that happened to all the other young children involved. The movie is hard hitting and slow paced but it doesn't feel like it at times because of the great acting done but some out standing kids. I'm amazed their parents were willing to let their kids experiences this even if it was fake. this movie is not recommended as a date movie... trust me, you will not get laid after.

4.5 Burnt Vajayjay's out of 5.... it really is a good movie.

The Lost (2007)

Dir. Chris Sivertson

'The lost' was the second Ketchum movie i tracked down, and although i did enjoy the movie i was not entirely impressed up until the frantic ending... that i did like. This movie is also based on true events that is something Ketchum is great at, finding truly horrible true crimes and turning them into great story's. This one is about Ray, who one day while hanging out at the campgrounds around where he lives comes upon two girls and decides to murder them, he gets some help covering it up by two friends and is never brought to justice. 4 years later Ray feels invincible but thing start to unwind as some old cops and new friend start to turn his world upside down and he finally snaps.

3 crushed cans in your shoes do make you taller out of 5.

Offspring (2009)

Dir. Andrew Van den Houten

I'm not going to be kind here, i hated this movie... well maybe hate is a little strong... But Maybe its not. The movie is about a family attacked by a group of nomadic cannibal's who have been living on the coast of Maine for many years. Well what can i say, low production value show throughout the whole movie, sub par acting (almost saved by veteran Canadian actor Art Hindle.) crappy gore that doesn't seem necessary at most times, and a plot that leave something to be desired. Well Mr. Ketchum can make them all great.

2.5 dead babies out of 5.

The Women (2011)

Dir. lucky Mckee

In this movie Pollyanna McIntosh reclaims her role as the women (a feral eater of human flesh) from the previous talked about film 'Offspring', she is captured by a overbearing father and family man named Chris who whats to civilize her, to what end, who knows. as the movie progresses we see that Chis is not as nice a person as he seems and his son may be just as fucked up. Chis is a abusive and bastard of a man treating everyone like his own property, and he gets whats coming in the end. Not a bad movie and it at times brings to mind 'The Girl Next Door' but maybe only because they have a girl tied up and they torture and rape her. Fun stuff. Not a great movie, but not a bad one either.

3 lawnmower blades to your sons guts out of 5.

Red (2008)

Dir. Lucky Mckee & Trygve Allister Diesen

'Red' may be the redeeming film i've been looking for, since seeing 'The Girl Next Door' i've been waiting for someone to take one of Jack Katchum's stories and make another solid film out of it, and 'Red' is that. Red is the story of a old man looking for vindication after Three young men kill his dog and make a joke out of it. The movie looks at the difference between the classes of people living out there as well as some heart breaking look at how far someone well go just to get the truth. The movie has some great actors like veteran actor Brian Cox and the up and comer Noel Fisher. At first glance this is just a simple revenge movie... but over a dog, but it not as if Brian Cox's character is asking for blood he just wants to know that the young men understand that they can't get away whit what they've done, until it looks like they can. This story is all build up to a great climax that leaves you feeling alittle depressed and somewhat empty... hmmm. that's funny, just like another movie of Ketchum's. Anyways This movie is great, give it a watch.

4 dead dogs out of 5.   

Reviews: Odds and Ends

Apollo 18

Dir - Gonzalo Lopez

I can never help but think it must be hard to make a horror movie set in space and not have it written of as a Sci-fi movie, not that there's anything wrong with science fiction. Just you need a little more disbelief in order for it to work. Alien is a great example, its got great scares and atmosphere but its set in a time and place that doesn't exist to me so i wright it of as Sci-fi more then horror.

That being said i have to applaud the makers of Apollo 18 did a great job of setting the time and place, The "found footage" seems like it may have come from the 70's as well as the spaceship itself resembles the cramped cone shaped pods we're accustomed to see astronauts in. the acting is good and set design is outstanding. Its still not a great movie but what "found footage" movie is.

My big complaint about the films...[SPOILERS AHEAD] and its even brought up in the film, is that one astronaut tell the other that they're not going to leave them there, because they need the footage that they've been recording and we've been watching. Which make since seeing how were watching the footage but wait... no one comes both astronauts die and were to believe that another secret mission must have happened, or the spider rock fucking aliens took it down to us.

3 failed missions to the moon out of 5.

Necromentia

Dir. Pearry Reginald Teo

Wow. What a messed up movie. Now i had heard a lot of hype going into this film, some were saying it was such a great horror film that blah blah blah and others were comparing it to hellraiser movies saying that it would be a great sequel (Which i totally agree with after watching it.) but a lot of good hype usually leads me one of two ways when i watch the movie.

1. i already hate it cause you've made such a big deal out of it that if its anything other then cinematic gold then its crap.

2. there can be no way that this movie as is good as people say it is and it if it turns out to be shit then i'm giving up on horror and just watching Adam Sandler movies from now on.

It turns out this movie is quite good, in fact i'd say most of the hype was founded. there cool characters, none of who you'll really like but there still cool, and some really messed up imagery. most off all it a great little story about love, revenge and what some people are willing to do to get back what they have lost.

4 pig heads out of 5

Straw Dogs

Dir. Rod Lurie

before anyone of you give me shit about Straw Dogs not being horror, i tell you one thing... Go fuck yourself. Some people may call this a Thriller some may call it a drama, but really does this movie not have everything that our classic revenge horror films have. Don't get me wrong in no way am i saying this because i think this movie was great (it was alright) its just that sometimes we have to let some movies fall into categories we don't agree with.

anyways this is a remake of a classic cult film and it doesn't do that bad as far as remakes go, solid acting and great back and forth banter between rich boy cyclops and Eric the Vampire. Cyclops also does a great job fighting of the rape-y rednecks, and killing the fuck out of them.

3.5 Bear traps to the head out of 5.

Reviews: Alienated Aliens

The Thing (2011)
Dir. Matthijs Van Heijningen Jr.

Many people refereed to this as a 'The Thing' Remake although its not, but again as to our understanding of what a remake is, it is... it takes place in practically the same place and large parts of the story are interchangeable, so it kind of is. Its a prequel to John Carpenter's 'The Thing' (1982) Which is a remake of the 1951 'The Thing From Another World'... but anyways lets talk about the 2011 'The Thing'. 'The Thing' fallows a group of Swedish and American scientist at a isolated Antarctica research site who have stumbled upon a shape shifting alien that loves to devour humans and likes to wear them. the great part about these movies is the paranoia that strikes the people put in the situation. The actors do a great job and while a lot of the hype for this movie was around the SFX which was supposed to be all practical FX with a little CG added in but it turned out to be a lot more CG then practical. A lot of people seem to have a problem with that If you can get past the CG FX, then this is a good movie.

                                  4 hand spiders out of 5

Attack the Block
Dir. Joe Corrish

A teenage gang, made tuff from the hard streets of south London must fight for there lives against some of the cooler aliens that i've seen for a while... their pitch black gorilla wolf looking things with glowing teeth. I kind of expected this movie to suck, i didn't see how anything i heard about it could be true, some cheesy low budget movie about a street gang fighting of aliens, i've seen thing similar to this before and it always turns out to be a shit movie. but this movie worked out great. super action lots of death and the fat friend from Shaun of the dead as a drug dealer.

4 Crazy Alien Gorilla Wolves out of 5.



Altered
Dir. Eduardo Sanchez

The jest of Altered is that 5 friend were abducted by aliens and then release except for one who was dead, fifteen years later there looking for payback. Altered as a low budget alien abduction movie with a twist, the alien is the one that's abducted. The four surviving guys have captured one of the aliens that abducted them fifteen years earlier... OK this is way out there.
This movie is pretty crazy still a good watch but it seems to be slow paced at times and hard to fallow. but give it a try.

3 abducted dudes out of 5.

Reviews: Then Turn Back Stupid.

This weeks reviews well be of a series of movies in the subcategory of the slasher genre i call 'family slasher' not that its family safe, more that it usually a family of inbred retarded freaks doing the killing. These movies usually have a group of people going out to back country/Bum fuck nowhere, for no good reason and then they all get slaughter except one or two who happen to win a small victory other then all their friend and family being dead. such movies include Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Hills Have Eyes, and the dreadful Skinned Deep to name a few. But me, i'm going to go with a newer series...

Wrong Turn (2003)

Dir. Rob Schmidt

Now i know a lot of people give 'Wrong Turn' a thumbs down and to them i say "Go fuck yourself!" What the else do you wont from this kind of movie, it a great take on a classic idea given a nice twist and some really nice make up done on those retarded redneck folks. Anyways i'm a fan of this movie (as you could probable tell) Its got some sweet kills, good acting and Eliza Dushku's Boobs in a nice tight tank top and that part in the cabin where they have to silently watch one of the close friends butchered in front of them with out letting the Freaks know their there, classic. The plot is pretty straight forward young man meet up... crashes into five other young people, in backwoods America and have to fight for there lives against Cannibalistic redneck retards. To tell you more then that would be a waste.

4 Barbed wire smile out of 5

Wrong turn 2: Dead End. (2007)

Dir. Joe Lynch

OK, so by definition sequels in horror movies are bad, (Nightmare on elm st. 2 we're looking at you.) so i wasn't really expecting much going in to it... and i didn't get much from it. To be honest i like this movie its just fails in comparison to the first (this series shares a lot with 'Scream' in that way) but what this movie does have.. is Henry Rollins, and that's awesome. So this time there is a reality T.V. show about survival being filmed in the Cannibalistic redneck retards back yard, and their hungry. People die, parts get eaten, redneck retard incest... what more could you want.

3 Fingers out of 5

Wrong Turn 3: Left for Dead (2009)

Dir. Declan O'Brien

When I said that these movies share something in common with the Scream franchise i meant that like the scream franchise as each new sequel come out and is worse the original movie seems to look worse and worse, just like the 'Saw' movies, the first saw is great, but as each watered down sequel came out the First movie got forgot about. Now, After saying that you probably think i'm not going to have anything good to say about this movie and... i don't, again it not that bad its just a worse then part 2 which was worse the part 1. I even kind of like the idea behind this one more then 2, Some hardened criminals should put up a pretty good fight against some stupid rednecks, but they don't. boo-urns.

2.5 razor-wire traps out of 5.

Needless to say i am excited about seeing the 4th installment of the series that i guess is more of a prequel then a sequel, but who cares, i just wont to watch some teenagers die.

News: Awesome new Texas Chainsaw Massacre ltd. Edition

Decided to throw this up here because i think its pretty awesome. Gorgon Video is release a limited edition of Tobe Hooper'S original Texas Chainsaw Massacre for its 40th anniversary.

The set includes:

• A Leatherface apron
• Theatrical mini-poster
• Five audio options
• Four feature commentaries with the filmmakers and cast
• Hours of new bonus features, including newly-discovered deleted scenes, featurettes, behind the scenes, and more!
• + A FREE 2-disc copy of Tobe Hooper's Eaten Alive

So all and all its a nice little collection, the Apron and mini-poster are a nice touch. plus you get Eaten Alive so it not bad. the price tag is $99.98 which is steep but its still pretty cool. check it out here:

http://gorgon-video.com/products/the-texas-chain-saw-massacre-40th-anniversary-black-maria-limited-edition

Reviews: A Fabulous Feast.

Feast

Dir. John Gulager (2005)

Feast is one of those movies that has a lot of expectations put on it and doesn't really pay off in the end, now that's not to say that its a piece of shit like most... it's just that expectations were to high for this one. After all the trouble getting it through Project Greenlight 3 everyone thought that this would turn into the next big thing in horror, it wasn't... but it was still a pretty cool movie. 'Feast' has the classic survivors in a isolated location feel to it, like Night of the living dead only with super fast highly lethal killer rubber suit monsters and in a bar. The movie starts of introducing us to everyone giving us a almost video game bio of everyone and letting us know what there "strengths" are and what their odds of surviving are. also this movie has a true no one is safe feel (The first hero dies and a child dies in this one... but wait for part 2) that fallows through the rest of the films. What else can i say about 'Feast' other then it has the feel of a old drive-in movie that's just to fun and gory to forget.

3.5/ 5

Feast 2: Sloppy Seconds

Dir. John Gulager (2008)

What John Gulager did to make 'Feast 1' fast and fun can start to be seen missing in 'Feast 2: Sloppy Seconds'. Yep Sloppy Seconds, that's what they called it. . . Anyways lets see After our few survivors escape the bar and make their way to the closest town, that just so happens to be over run with... you guessed it the same monsters. Shit. alright so more crazy deaths happen and some boobs are shown, there's a longer then it has to be dissection of one of the monsters that just seems to be added for a very long fart joke. This movie falls for the tree of the first movie but not that far, it still good for a laugh and has some great gory gags in it... and a biker chick made tit-girl, and then there's the baby death. Now it hard to believe but they stepped up the no one is safe feel from the first movie by killing a baby (I wonder how Ben and Matt feel about putting the first movie through project greenlight now?) anyways this is the moment where the movie losses half its audience, and i'm talking so hardcore horror movie fan just say... " that's to much" now i'm not going to say weather it stepped over a line or not, but really sometimes we have to agree not every baby is going to live through a Apocalypse.

3/5.

Feast 3: The Happy Finish.

Dir. John Gulager (2009)

Really, you called your second movie sloppy seconds then when you have the chance to go for another "great" title like i don't know, The happy ending, you fuck it up and call your movie 'The Happy Finish' what the fuck... although it does help you to understand what the hell happened with this movie. Ok so say 'Feast' was made for horror fans then the 2nd would have been made for stoners... that would mean that the third was made for people with brain damage that causes them to forget whats going on every ten minutes. This movie is pretty bad considering they had such a strong start, but they just run through ideas like a... I don't know like what but lets just say to much is going on. They add new characters just to have someone to kill off and have some guy who turns out to be a Ninja... he dies. lots of things happen but none of it had to... thats all i have to say about that. OH yes... also more boobs.

2.5/5.

Reviews: Divine Occults.

The Wicker Man (1973)

Dir. Robin Hardy

I figured if i was going to do occult themed movies i should start with the best 'The Wicket Man' and no not that horrible remake with Nick Cage in it. I'm talking about the one that was filmed in a time when the movie feel like it fits. OK so the movie centers around a "too good for his own good" and overly catholic Police Sargent who has come to very isolated, very non catholic island of Summerisle to locate a missing female child, but what he really gets is the greatest mind fuck of all time. He gets swept up in all the open fornicating and pagan rituals that the locals seem to love taking part in, and believes that the young girl is to be sacrificed to appease the gods and Bring on a great harvest in the next year... Could he not be more wrong. 'The Wicker Man' has a great sense of dread though out the whole movie, leaving you guessing as to what is really going on in this little town, and the ending is one of the greatest twist out there.

4.5/5

The Shrine (2010)

Dir. Jon Knautz

Now lets jump ahead a few years. 'The Shrine' me by complete surprise, from reading the netfilx synapses i thought it sounded like a decent idea but it turned out to be better then i had thought. We fallow 3 young journalist investigating some disappearances that have happened around a remote village in Poland. When they first get there the locals are anything but and Our group of three notice a strange amount of smoke coming out of the woods in the distance. After they watch some rather weird happenings at the local church they decide to investigate said smoke and get chased of by more unfriendly locals. Its at this time one girl decides they need to know whats up with the smoke and they go investigate. Now, here's where i see a problem, [SPOILERS] If you live in a isolated town know for its disappearances, with a crazy dark ring off smoke that you constantly have to chase people away from because... oh i don't know you may have a demon statue that posses people that see it... you may want to build a fence around it. Anyways, shit goes crazy, someone gets a mask hammered on to her face, a family gets disemboweled and some crazy priest save the day... kind off.

3.5/5.

Kill List (2011)

Dir. Ben Wheatley

Alright, I'm Sorry. Just for including this movie in a section entitled Divine Occults spoils a huge part off this movie and if your reading this before you've seen the movie then i fucked it for you... but anyways, this movie is good... i think. What i mean to say is i like this movie. Don't I? I'm really not sure. its slow paced, its story is barely coherent at times, and some of the English accents are so thick they are almost not understandable, But the pay off at the end is so good maybe i'm willing to over look the first 75 minutes because of the last 20. Not that the first off the movie is bad it just always had me waiting for something to happen... until something finally did happen.

3.5/5.

Reviews: Killer Kid Movies.

The Children (2008)

Dir. Tom Shankland

As i said in the Top 5 Christmas segment The children from 'The Children' are the creepiest to date. Think about sitting at your family Christmas get together and not knowing if that little shit sitting across from you is thinking about cutting your throat, or breaking your leg on some monkey bars... Ouch. Anyways this movie is great, i love the fact that your guessing all the way through weather one kid is crazy or not. the gore is lite but still top notch and the acting is great. That i think my be the selling point, child actors for one must be a pain to deal with and to have this many kids pull of so much cool shit is great.

4/5.

The Omen (1976)

Dir. Richard Donner

Man, if you found out that your son was the son of the devil, why would you wont to kill him. Your on easy street stupid. Set back and wait for your son to take over and give you a sweet job like... Supreme ruler of Canada or something to that effect. but anyways that's enough daydreaming, Damian is one crazy little shit factory. This kid doesn't kill you he get you to kill yourself, or makes the world around you kill you as in the great beheading scene with the plate of glass that removes David Warner's head from his body. this kids is pure awesome evil.

3.5/5.



The Village of the Damned (1960)

Dir. Wolf Rilla

to me this movie and 'Bad Seed' really are to blame for the killer kid category of the horror genre, and as it sit its still one of the best. These kids are creepy. After a entire town passes out from unknown reasons every a lady not capable of carrying a child is now pregers and all give birth to weird white haired devil spawn. years later the kids are capable of controlling people to do horrible things. The stories dated by the black and white but its heads and tails better then the John Carpenter 1995 remake that wouldn't have sucked so bad if Christopher Reeves and Kristie Alley could have stopped eating up the scenes when ever they could.

3.5/5.

Horror Monsters Pin-up

Reviews: Cannibalistic Humanoid Blah Blah Blah.

C.H.U.D.
Dir. Douglas Cheek

C.H.U.D. is one of those movies that hardcore genre fans will stick up for and say that it has more redeeming qualities then it really does. I'm not one of them. O.K. for a good laugh or made a party night with some friends this movies fine, but its just to ridicules to try and look at as anything as a parody of classic 50's and 60's monster movies. Maybe that's what it is and I'm trying to make more out of it, but i've had to many people try and tell me that this movie is great. For a b-movie its what it should be, Fun and dumb.
2.5/5





The Descent
Dir. Neil Marshall


There's a argument that horror movies are sexist against women, and I well agree that some are, but Neil Marshall's the decent would not be one of them. This mostly all female cast pulls out probably the best horror movie of 2005. When a group of female thrill seekers goes on a spelunking expedition it turns out to be more then just tight spaces and the dark they have to worry about when weird humanoid nocturnal creatures start killing them one by one. It really is a great movie with very claustrophobic moments and second takes where your asking yourself if you just saw what you think you saw.
4.5/5




The Burrowers
 Dir. J.T. Petty


Period movies are hard to pull off in the horror genre, but lately there have been some really stand out movies, and this is one of them. O.K. So the creatures in this film aren't quit humanoid, but they are creepy as fuck. After a family vanishes from their homestead a group of brawny cowboy types head out to find them, but what at first look like a simple case of cowboys vs. Indians soon takes a turn for the worse when something under the ground starts killing all those around. This movies pretty well done, it has a tight cast good monster effect and a solid story, if you haven't seen it diffidently give it a try.
4/5

Reviews: Creature Features

Critters
Dir. Stephen Herek

So let's just say i'm not saddened when these cut little fuzzballs are set loose on this small mid-west town. They're just to cute to stay mad at. Critters are little furry space monsters who have escaped capture and landed on earth and started to feast on the small town of Anywhere, USA (not real town name.) but close on the tails are shape shifting hunters. I love Critters, its one of those movies that dons't make any apologizes. Yes its goofy, yes there's no reason for it, but you can just enjoy the ridiculousness of it. It takes no time to get in to the meat of the story and doesn't  really let up. I know its just a 'Gremlins' rip off, but it's nothing like 'Gremlins'. Ok, maybe i'm just making excuses for it because I had my first underage beer to it. I still think its a great movie. 3/5



Hypothermia
Dir. James Felix McKenney

Not a lot of creature features being made nowadays, and that's a crying shame, but lucky young Director McKenney has made a great one. On a fishing trip a family must first put up with a loud mouth rich bastard then a amphibious monster with a poisonous touch. This is a awesome little movie that traps are would be heroes un a frozen lake with a fish person under it. The creature doesn't get much time on camera and i think that's because the suit isn't great but the actor in the suit does a great job of making it look creepy when you do see it. Michael Rooker doesn't get the chance much to be anything but angry redneck, this movie see's him as a family man and all around good guy, it's nice to see him as anything other then Merle Dixon (i hate you walking dead t.v. show.). 4/5



Tremors
Dir. Ron Underwood

Tremors is like the buddy cop movie of creature features. Kevin Bacon and Beef jerky team up to fight giant worms trying to eat their small dirty town. Graboids are underground worm like creature that hunt by vibrations on top of the ground. As the town begin to become aware of whats going on they must try to get out of the valley they live in without making any sound or vibrations. In the end they just kill the creatures, . This movie is a great classic throwback to classic monster movies of the 50's and 60's, as well as some Western movie theme thrown in there for fun. Its a great little flick with good laughs and frights. Also i'd like apologize to Fred Ward, your not beef jerky, your awesome.  4/5

Reviews: Big Bad Beast

Grizzly
Dir. William Girdler

Grizzly is this great little low budget killer bear movie from 1976. Based in a National Forest, it pits campers and forest rangers against a 18-foot tall killer grizzly. The movie has some definite flaws and the acting is sometimes terrible and the bear is mostly a fact bear claw swinging at peoples faces and guts, But there's a soft spot in my heart for a movie i can just kick back and not think about. The climax is less then great and you can tell its just a 'Jaws' rip off, but who cares, call some friends over, have some beers and watch a fake claw rip up some helpless campers.   3/5





Razorback
Dir. Russell Mulcahy

Film in 1984 in the Australian Outback, a large killer Razorback has been terrorizing the locals. Much like Jaws director Russell Mulcahy had trouble with his large killer animal robot, sadly he had more of a challenge concealing his monster and making it work for the movie instead of against it. Where Spielbreg could hide his monster under water there are only some many places to hid a giant pig. That being said the movie is still fantastic, the Australian Outback is full of atmosphere and almost seems other worldly in parts, the use of lights and color really make for some great shots. The acting is good, sometimes stale but still passable. The crotchety old bastard that's been hunting the beast since it killed his grandchild is great. The ending falls a little short from the rest of the movie and feels rushed. but still I think this movie is great.   3.5/5



Jaws
Dir. Steven Spielbreg

What can you say about jaws, its at the top of most peoples "best horror lists" it ushered in main stream horror and summer block busters. Jaws is awesome. That's it. Filmed in 1975 Jaws is set in a small tourist town of Amity Island where a killer great white shark has started to kill some silly humans. The real meat of the story isn't until the hunt when Sheriff Brody, Shark Hunter Quint, and oceanographer Hooper go out to hunt this giant killer shark, songs are sung, alcohol is drank, cages go in water, giant shark sinks boat then explodes. What more can you ask for.

4/5

Tirades, Rants and Riots.

Godzilla: King of the Monsters

I don't really like to get excited for movies before I see them. Even if they turn out to be alright, they still Probably live up to the hype, and if they suck... we'll they suck worse. Anyways i've been trying very hard to keep my expectations to a minimum when it comes to the Tri-star pictures re-imaging of 'Godzilla', but between all the T.V. spots and marketing ads I couldn't help but get excited. It's like a real 'Godzilla' movie, not some bastardized version or a 'Pacific Rim' ripe off.

Well,  I did. I went and saw the new 'Godzilla' movie, And it was quite good. Godzilla is Huge. I mean some of the promotional images would have you believe he was to big for this planet, he's not. But he is the Largest Godzilla to date. He's not on screen much but when he is his size can really be felt, and the monster fights are fun to watch... not as fun as a couple of guys and monster suits, but there are some definite cheering moment during them.

The Good: I ended up feeling as i left the theater is that this was a sequel to the first Godzilla movie and to alot of the toho movies, it feels rooted in its own history but still feels like a jumping of point. Director Gareth Edwards was the perfect pick for this movie, hell he already made a monster movie called 'Monsters' and know then, that the best way to treat a story like this is to focus on the people involved not the monsters.

The Bad: For a 2 hour Godzilla movie, you don't see much Godzilla. I understand they were trying to do the its scarier if you only get glimpses of the monster, but come on he's 120 - 150 meters tall, you can only hide something that big in so much smoke. Some plot devices were far to convenient, but it not enough for me to get upset over.   

New Look and Future Endeavors.

This blog well be getting a face lift soon as well as some much needed attention. This does mean that a lot of content well be taken down with the idea of it being put back up later.

I'll have more information soon, I plan on putting up more more reviews, comics and artwork, as well as renewed Remake Revenge, Top Five and a news update as well as my own opinion on what going on in horror, plus other cool shit i can't think to talk about.