Monday, September 15, 2014

Tirades, Rants and Riots: The Halloween Collection

On Sept 23, After years of waiting us horror fans will finally Be treated to a complete collection of the Halloween franchise including a Never before (officially) released Halloween: the Curse of Micheal Myers Producers Cut and both of Rob Zombies Films, plus Different cuts of part Halloween and Halloween part 2 as well as a incredible amount of extra's.

Anchor Bay and Scream Factory are known for some great release of classic (and not so classic) horror gems have now put together one hell of a package in this 15-disc bluray box-set, with stunning artwork on the box and a great looking 40 page booklet. This is a great looking set for any horror fan and a necessity for any Halloween Fan.

The only con I can see to shelling out the money for this set, (although there is a cheaper 10 disc box-set, but its not worth the money at all.) is that any Horror fan probably already owns a couple copies of Halloween, and maybe a couple of doubles of some of the other movies. Including some great Halloween 2 and 3 disc recently release by Scream Factory and a 35 Anniversary Edition of the original Halloween. So you may be asking yourself why? why should I buy another copy of movies I own already? And the reason is...
This is it. this is the set you should have had all along. Sell your other copies (unless you wont to keep them) and get this, this has everything you could wont in a Halloween set and more.

For more Details on the special features and a countdown until release day check out Halloween666

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Remake Revenge: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Ever Wednesday I'll be switching between Reviews and Remake Revenge from now on. Next week i'll review three found footage films and the week after that i'll be Telling you what I think of the original and the remake of "The Hills Have Eyes".

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)
Dir. Tobe Hooper

Five friends visiting their grandfather's house in the country are hunted and terrorized by a chain-saw wielding killer and his family of grave-robbing cannibals.

First let me say something about my childhood. I have many memories of sneaking down our old creaky stairs to the living room late at night to watch horror movies on TV; having an old fashion satellite I had enough to choose from. It was on one of these nights I was first introduced to the monster known as Leatherface. From the moment he steps through the door and bashes Kirk over the head with the hammer and the slamming of the door afterwards, Leatherface was something to be afraid off.

As I got older I became more aware of Leatherface’s child like innocence. Sure he kills people but if that is what you grew up in and all you knew, would you consider it wrong to do so. There are times this Leatherface seams almost sympathetic and alone in his world, the time he is sitting in the “living room” comes to mind looking around the room after the kill, almost scared.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)
Dir. Marcus Nispel

After picking up a traumatized young hitchhiker, five friends find themselves stalked and hunted by a deformed chainsaw-wielding killer and his family of equally psychopathic killers.

The True monster of this film come as Sheriff Hoyt, a sadistic old bastard that gets so much pleasure out of the power he commands, even if it is just fake. The new Leatherface is more of a quiet stalker type killer, more in the line of Jason from Friday the 13th parts 6 through 8. More of a force of death then a monster, I think this is where the filmmakers really fail. To take such a large part of a character and turn him more into a mindless killing machine was just too much of a change for me to take.

So what do i think of the remake, well In the end I guess all I can say is that the remake off TCM has everything every other horror movie has. Its not a bad horror movie, it just has too much to live up to. The original was far too real and horrifying to ever be remade right. You can't remake something like Texas Chainsaw Massacre, its a animal, a force you just can't reproduce. Instead we get a watered down slasher flick that runs through the same cliches and makes some new ones. That being said, I love those cliches. They are the back bone of some of my favorite slasher, but not when their being used to muddy the water of a great film like Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

All you have to do to compare these movies is think about the ending. In the original Sally (Marilyn Burns) Crashes through a window escaping hell itself, then is chased on to the road having her back repetitively cut with a Straight razor by the sick Hitch-hiker until he gets run over, She then jumps in to the back of a passing truck. As she looks back you can see pain and loss in her face as she laughs and screams. She will never be the same, what she has experienced over the last 24 hour is something that will live with her. She didn't survive... Not really.

In the Remake Erin (Jessica Biel) Has gotten away from Leatherface and hidden in a old slaughterhouse, as leatherface is distracted, she chops of his hand with a meat clever and runs off. She gets pick up on the road by a man in a semi-truck, who then stops at a local dinner to get help to Erin's disapproval, while said trucker is busy with the murderous sheriff Hoyt and some other family member. Erin goes in to the dinner to save a baby we assumed was kidnapped earlier and hot wires the sheriff car. Then repetitively runs over Hoyt before driving off.

Now, off all the remakes I’ve seen over the past 15 or more years I don’t think any have ended so differently. The original has an ending that is what you wonted but still so bleak. The girl gets away but at what cost. “Who will survive and what well be left of them.” After seeing the end of this movie you know that Sally well never be the same girl she was before this. It leaves a definite impact. The remake goes the same old slasher film route girl survives and kills those who tormented her and leaves you feeling both fulfilled and empty at the same time. Sure your glad she got away and got revenge, but that doesn't necessarily make a good ending.

 A line from the intro dialogue to T.C.M. 2 sums up the original well I think.

“Sally said she had broken out of a window from hell”

Saturday, September 6, 2014

Tirades, Rants and Riots: Horror Movie Soundtracks Re-released on Vinyl

Of all the growing trends in horror culture this one I find the easiest to fall in love with. A large amount of classic and not so classic soundtracks are getting re-released on Vinyl records, and not only that some come with great looking art on the record covers. If you love horror movies, music and art this is a great thing for you to look in to.

Mondo Tees, Know for their beautiful movie posters has put out some great looking (and i'm guessing good sounding) records including John Carpenter's Halloween, Here Comes the Devil, Manic (the Remake), and The Deadly Spawn (to name a few) all got great art work as well as some special attention to the record.

One Way Static Doesn't really have the art work that mondo does but they seem to be trying to put out some real great rare original soundtrack Like The Hills Have Eyes and Last House on the Left. They Also have Soundtracks for Surf Nazi Must Die and Wolfcop coming out soon, both of those look pretty sweet.

Death Waltz If you looking for strange or rare soundtracks Death Waltz may be what your looking for. They Release Halloween 2 With some great art work, they did Halloween 3 as well but the art work is lacking in comparison but still cool. They have also released a ton of old Italian Horror movie soundtracks from dario argento's inferno to Lucio Fulci's City of the Dead. Lot of good stuff.

WaxWorks  Seems to be a newer company jumping in but they've already release Re-animator, Rosemary's Baby, and Day of the Dead. All are great looking. They are also in the process of releasing a Vinyl copy of Friday the 13th which look quit nice.  

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Reviews: Jack Ketchum's Evil Mind in Films.

I watched 'The Girl Next Door' (not staring Elisha Cuthbert) with some friends who told me after it was over that they would never watch that movie again, and that i had a sick taste in movies but... I really have to disagree with them. Now, understand that i do not enjoy anything that happened to that young girl in that movie, but i do view this movie is a great Horror film and a excellent example of how this genre can not only be horrifying at times but also make you feel something. Now that being said this movie makes you feel completely depressed and empty but its still a great movie. So after that i wanted more Jake Ketchum and i don't read much so anytime i could find one of his movies i watched it. so here's what i thought.

The Girl Next Door (2007)
Dir. Gregory Wilson
'the Girl Next Door' Is a fictional story written by Katchum based of the true crimes that befell on a young girl by her over baring Aunt. The film is as much about the torment and abuses that happened to the young girl is it is the loss of innocents that happened to all the other young children involved. The movie is hard hitting and slow paced but it doesn't feel like it at times because of the great acting done but some out standing kids. I'm amazed their parents were willing to let their kids experiences this even if it was fake. this movie is not recommended as a date movie... trust me, you will not get laid after.

4.5 Burnt Vajayjay's out of 5.... it really is a good movie.

The Lost (2007)
Dir. Chris Sivertson

'The lost' was the second Ketchum movie i tracked down, and although i did enjoy the movie i was not entirely impressed up until the frantic ending... that i did like. This movie is also based on true events that is something Ketchum is great at, finding truly horrible true crimes and turning them into great story's. This one is about Ray, who one day while hanging out at the campgrounds around where he lives comes upon two girls and decides to murder them, he gets some help covering it up by two friends and is never brought to justice. 4 years later Ray feels invincible but thing start to unwind as some old cops and new friend start to turn his world upside down and he finally snaps.

3 crushed cans in your shoes do make you taller out of 5.

Offspring (2009)
Dir. Andrew Van den Houten
I'm not going to be kind here, i hated this movie... well maybe hate is a little strong... But Maybe its not. The movie is about a family attacked by a group of nomadic cannibal's who have been living on the coast of Maine for many years. Well what can i say, low production value show throughout the whole movie, sub par acting (almost saved by veteran Canadian actor Art Hindle.) crappy gore that doesn't seem necessary at most times, and a plot that leave something to be desired. Well Mr. Ketchum can make them all great.

2.5 dead babies out of 5.

The Women (2011)
Dir. lucky Mckee
In this movie Pollyanna McIntosh reclaims her role as the women (a feral eater of human flesh) from the previous talked about film 'Offspring', she is captured by a overbearing father and family man named Chris who whats to civilize her, to what end, who knows. as the movie progresses we see that Chis is not as nice a person as he seems and his son may be just as fucked up. Chis is a abusive and bastard of a man treating everyone like his own property, and he gets whats coming in the end. Not a bad movie and it at times brings to mind 'The Girl Next Door' but maybe only because they have a girl tied up and they torture and rape her. Fun stuff. Not a great movie, but not a bad one either.

3 lawnmower blades to your sons guts out of 5.

Red (2008)
Dir. Lucky Mckee & Trygve Allister Diesen
'Red' may be the redeeming film i've been looking for, since seeing 'The Girl Next Door' i've been waiting for someone to take one of Jack Katchum's stories and make another solid film out of it, and 'Red' is that. Red is the story of a old man looking for vindication after Three young men kill his dog and make a joke out of it. The movie looks at the difference between the classes of people living out there as well as some heart breaking look at how far someone well go just to get the truth. The movie has some great actors like veteran actor Brian Cox and the up and comer Noel Fisher. At first glance this is just a simple revenge movie... but over a dog, but it not as if Brian Cox's character is asking for blood he just wants to know that the young men understand that they can't get away whit what they've done, until it looks like they can. This story is all build up to a great climax that leaves you feeling alittle depressed and somewhat empty... hmmm. that's funny, just like another movie of Ketchum's. Anyways This movie is great, give it a watch.

4 dead dogs out of 5.   

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Reviews: Odds and Ends

Apollo 18
Dir - Gonzalo Lopez

I can never help but think it must be hard to make a horror movie set in space and not have it written of as a Sci-fi movie, not that there's anything wrong with science fiction. Just you need a little more disbelief in order for it to work. Alien is a great example, its got great scares and atmosphere but its set in a time and place that doesn't exist to me so i wright it of as Sci-fi more then horror.

That being said i have to applaud the makers of Apollo 18 did a great job of setting the time and place, The "found footage" seems like it may have come from the 70's as well as the spaceship itself resembles the cramped cone shaped pods we're accustomed to see astronauts in. the acting is good and set design is outstanding. Its still not a great movie but what "found footage" movie is.

My big complaint about the films...[SPOILERS AHEAD] and its even brought up in the film, is that one astronaut tell the other that they're not going to leave them there, because they need the footage that they've been recording and we've been watching. Which make since seeing how were watching the footage but wait... no one comes both astronauts die and were to believe that another secret mission must have happened, or the spider rock fucking aliens took it down to us.

3 failed missions to the moon out of 5.

Dir. Pearry Reginald Teo

Wow. What a messed up movie. Now i had heard a lot of hype going into this film, some were saying it was such a great horror film that blah blah blah and others were comparing it to hellraiser movies saying that it would be a great sequel (Which i totally agree with after watching it.) but a lot of good hype usually leads me one of two ways when i watch the movie.
1. i already hate it cause you've made such a big deal out of it that if its anything other then cinematic gold then its crap.
2. there can be no way that this movie as is good as people say it is and it if it turns out to be shit then i'm giving up on horror and just watching Adam Sandler movies from now on.

It turns out this movie is quite good, in fact i'd say most of the hype was founded. there cool characters, none of who you'll really like but there still cool, and some really messed up imagery. most off all it a great little story about love, revenge and what some people are willing to do to get back what they have lost.

4 pig heads out of 5

Straw Dogs
Dir. Rod Lurie

before anyone of you give me shit about Straw Dogs not being horror, i tell you one thing... Go fuck yourself. Some people may call this a Thriller some may call it a drama, but really does this movie not have everything that our classic revenge horror films have. Don't get me wrong in no way am i saying this because i think this movie was great (it was alright) its just that sometimes we have to let some movies fall into categories we don't agree with.

anyways this is a remake of a classic cult film and it doesn't do that bad as far as remakes go, solid acting and great back and forth banter between rich boy cyclops and Eric the Vampire. Cyclops also does a great job fighting of the rape-y rednecks, and killing the fuck out of them.

3.5 Bear traps to the head out of 5.

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Reviews: Alienated Aliens

The Thing (2011)
Dir. Matthijs Van Heijningen Jr.

Many people refereed to this as a 'The Thing' Remake although its not, but again as to our understanding of what a remake is, it is... it takes place in practically the same place and large parts of the story are interchangeable, so it kind of is. Its a prequel to John Carpenter's 'The Thing' (1982) Which is a remake of the 1951 'The Thing From Another World'... but anyways lets talk about the 2011 'The Thing'. 'The Thing' fallows a group of Swedish and American scientist at a isolated Antarctica research site who have stumbled upon a shape shifting alien that loves to devour humans and likes to wear them. the great part about these movies is the paranoia that strikes the people put in the situation. The actors do a great job and while a lot of the hype for this movie was around the SFX which was supposed to be all practical FX with a little CG added in but it turned out to be a lot more CG then practical. A lot of people seem to have a problem with that If you can get past the CG FX, then this is a good movie.

                                  4 hand spiders out of 5

Attack the Block
Dir. Joe Corrish

A teenage gang, made tuff from the hard streets of south London must fight for there lives against some of the cooler aliens that i've seen for a while... their pitch black gorilla wolf looking things with glowing teeth. I kind of expected this movie to suck, i didn't see how anything i heard about it could be true, some cheesy low budget movie about a street gang fighting of aliens, i've seen thing similar to this before and it always turns out to be a shit movie. but this movie worked out great. super action lots of death and the fat friend from Shaun of the dead as a drug dealer.

4 Crazy Alien Gorilla Wolves out of 5.

Dir. Eduardo Sanchez

The jest of Altered is that 5 friend were abducted by aliens and then release except for one who was dead, fifteen years later there looking for payback. Altered as a low budget alien abduction movie with a twist, the alien is the one that's abducted. The four surviving guys have captured one of the aliens that abducted them fifteen years earlier... OK this is way out there.
This movie is pretty crazy still a good watch but it seems to be slow paced at times and hard to fallow. but give it a try.

3 abducted dudes out of 5.

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Reviews: Then Turn Back Stupid.

This weeks reviews well be of a series of movies in the subcategory of the slasher genre i call 'family slasher' not that its family safe, more that it usually a family of inbred retarded freaks doing the killing. These movies usually have a group of people going out to back country/Bum fuck nowhere, for no good reason and then they all get slaughter except one or two who happen to win a small victory other then all their friend and family being dead. such movies include Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Hills Have Eyes, and the dreadful Skinned Deep to name a few. But me, i'm going to go with a newer series...

Wrong Turn (2003)
Dir. Rob Schmidt

Now i know a lot of people give 'Wrong Turn' a thumbs down and to them i say "Go fuck yourself!" What the else do you wont from this kind of movie, it a great take on a classic idea given a nice twist and some really nice make up done on those retarded redneck folks. Anyways i'm a fan of this movie (as you could probable tell) Its got some sweet kills, good acting and Eliza Dushku's Boobs in a nice tight tank top and that part in the cabin where they have to silently watch one of the close friends butchered in front of them with out letting the Freaks know their there, classic. The plot is pretty straight forward young man meet up... crashes into five other young people, in backwoods America and have to fight for there lives against Cannibalistic redneck retards. To tell you more then that would be a waste.

4 Barbed wire smile out of 5

Wrong turn 2: Dead End. (2007)
Dir. Joe Lynch

OK, so by definition sequels in horror movies are bad, (Nightmare on elm st. 2 we're looking at you.) so i wasn't really expecting much going in to it... and i didn't get much from it. To be honest i like this movie its just fails in comparison to the first (this series shares a lot with 'Scream' in that way) but what this movie does have.. is Henry Rollins, and that's awesome. So this time there is a reality T.V. show about survival being filmed in the Cannibalistic redneck retards back yard, and their hungry. People die, parts get eaten, redneck retard incest... what more could you want.

3 Fingers out of 5

Wrong Turn 3: Left for Dead (2009)
Dir. Declan O'Brien

When I said that these movies share something in common with the Scream franchise i meant that like the scream franchise as each new sequel come out and is worse the original movie seems to look worse and worse, just like the 'Saw' movies, the first saw is great, but as each watered down sequel came out the First movie got forgot about. Now, After saying that you probably think i'm not going to have anything good to say about this movie and... i don't, again it not that bad its just a worse then part 2 which was worse the part 1. I even kind of like the idea behind this one more then 2, Some hardened criminals should put up a pretty good fight against some stupid rednecks, but they don't. boo-urns.

2.5 razor-wire traps out of 5.

Needless to say i am excited about seeing the 4th installment of the series that i guess is more of a prequel then a sequel, but who cares, i just wont to watch some teenagers die.